Twuz a sunny day, but that wuz to be expected... for BIG Daddy Roth wuz comin' into town, and he usually brought the good weather with him. I had experienced David Lee Roth in concert twice previously, but this time it wuz gonna be different, reazon being, twuz in an establishment that served liquor... it wuz a club show. I would be able to get pleazantly snapped, and Dave would provide the soundtrack, and visualz for this LIVE motion picture. Needless to say, I wuz pretty stoked about it, and after all, he wuz the coolest mother fucker in Donnie Black's world.

The previous evening, four of us had stayed in room 517 at the Marble Arch Hotel (R.I.P.). It wuz the cheapest and smallest room in the place, so we had to take it. Picture this; if you were stumbling drunk and opened the door quick enough, chancez are you'd fall out of the window. The room didn't have a washroom, but it had a sink that didn't work.

I'm six foot two, the smallest of the four of us, so you could imagine how cozy the room wuz. We managed to Mcgyver it up enough, that we slept in it like oversized sardines. I couldn't think of a better night to preceed a Diamond Dave show.

Out of the four of us, only three were going to go see Dave, and we were pretty fuckin' happy about it too. The morning of the show consisted of us wandering 'round downtown Vancouver, stopping in at local saloonz, drinkin' beerz and venturing to the alley behind the Commodore Ballroom (where Dave wuz to play), in hopes of meeting him. We'd do some time out back, then go for another beer when we felt he wouldn't be coming til later. This wuz repeated all day until we were certain Dave'd be showing up, then we finally perched ourselvez out back until showtime.

During what would be our last trip back to the alley, I noticed this guy putting up GIGANTIC Metallica posterz for a show that was happening later that month. I wanted one of those posterz for a specific reazon, so I crossed the road and asked the dude if I could have one. He said, "Sure! Are you goin' to this show?" I had to be honest with him and said, "Az a matter of fact, I'm not. But, I'm gonna meet Dave Roth later, and get a BIG fuckin' signature!" The guy raized hiz eyebrows az if I was nuts, and gave me a couple of the posterz.

So back to the alley we went, where we waited patiently, yet excitedly. Two more dudez showed up and hung out across the way. We shared the common goal of meeting Diamond Dave. Time went by, and when no one wuz payin' attention, with a security gaurd in tow, Dave came walkin' down the alley towardz us. (More than likely comin' from the Nelson Plaza Hotel two blocks away, where he had lived while recording the Lil' Ain't Enough album a few yearz back.) Anywayz, he comez struttin' right between us and the other two guyz to the back door and knocks. No one said nothin'. We were literally stopped dead in our thoughts. I just pointed and watched az my jaw hit the ground, when in a 'blown away' kinda whisper I managed to say, "There he iz!" The door opened, and then he wuz swallowed by the building. When the door finally slammed shut, it wuz like we all came out of a trance. My buddy wuz like, "Did you fucking feel that?!" Me n' my other bro, were experiencing synchronicity, when we said, "NO SHIT!"

The other two guyz in the alley didn't feel quite the same az us, when one of 'em said, "What the fuck wuz that? He pulled a total rockstar trip and didn't say shit to us!" Az alwayz, I stood up for what I believed in, and laid into him, "Fuck you he did! None of us could even speak!" I then confessed how fucking happy I wuz, then went around front to get in line for the show. Personally, I wanted to slap buddy for talkin' shit about the man, but Dave Halen wuz never about fightin'.

Once we got inside the club, much to our delight, the show wuz sponsored by Jack Danielz, so theze lovely JD babez were handing out free shots to everyone! What a way to start the festivitiez; the first round wuz on Dave! We met up with some palz and went back for more free Jack Danielz. (This iz where it got funny.) Mitchy and I were at the table full of shots, when one of the JD girlz said, "Hey! You've been here five timez now! This iz your last one!" I had to laugh, it wuz hiz eleventh!

The house lights go out, the spot lights start scanning the room az the crowd goez wild in true rock concert fashion. Yellow'z The Race kicks in az Dave's intro muzic, and I swear it wuz the mondo-extendo mix, cuz it seemed to last for twenty minutes. The anticipation wuz crazy! I had my Metallica poster rolled up, and I played the part of a crazy preacher on the back of the dance floor. I carved BIG crosses in the air az I hailed out loud, "DAVE SAVES!"

...and the show went on. A spectacular event. When it wuz all said and done, I swear Dave blew me the kiss at the end of Beautiful Girls.

After another 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' performance, we went 'round back, and were greeted by an older gentleman who told us, "Dave will be out in a minute, and he'll sign all your stuff. You just have to back up against that wall pleaze." Holy fuck, we were going to meet thee man!

The excitement started to flow, and sure enough, the back door opened, then out walked Dave. He signed the first guy'z ticket, then my couzin Scotti spoke to him, "Dave, thanks for the wonderful evening!" Dave sez, "Your welcome, thank you very much! It wuz a pretty good evening. It had some ups and some downz. It wuz pretty colourful." He then pauzed, "...but probably not az colourful az Bob'z!" (Bob wuz this dude who kept sprayin' Dave with beer during the show, until he finally got the shit kicked out of him by the security guy with no neck.) We all started laughin'. It wuz great.

He continued along the line of people, then finally got to me. I had the back of the Metallica poster rolled out in the tiniest bit, (I felt like a little kid), then he said to me, "Lets get you a big one," az he rolled out the poster a little more. I finally thought, 'nowz my chance', so I said, "Dave, I gotta thank you for all the blue skiez and sunshine that you've given me all my life." He looked at me and said, "Well thank you very much! With the way the world iz today, we could all use a little sunshine!" I kinda fell back against the wall and went, "SHIT...."

The most perfect thing had happened to me that night: I spoke with God, and he spoke back. Twuz absolutely brilliant. I don't think the summer ever really ended after that.


Copyright © 2002 Zappnin Black. All Rights Reserved.